we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
