I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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