Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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