Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
