my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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