Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
