How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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