4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
