I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
