Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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