We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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