Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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