Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
