Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
