You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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