I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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