He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize