Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
