I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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