come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
