end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize