I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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