remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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