do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
