I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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