I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
