Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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