none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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