he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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