I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
