is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
