I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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