I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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