Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
