Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
