Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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