Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
