sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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