When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
