no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
