Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
