16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
