You're completely useless in the revolution.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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