He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
