I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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