If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
