Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
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