Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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