we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
