In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
