I'll bet she douches with gravy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
