I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
