she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize