No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
