youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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