She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
NoShamevember. You game?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
