Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
