Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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