I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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