Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
