I'm gonna have a badass scar
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
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I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
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One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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