He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
